My Friend Was Raped: Now What?

This is a true story. It did not happen to me, but it happened to a dear friend.

I am sharing her story because I believe our society as whole, has the responsibility to help and protect everyone who has been a victim of a sexual assault.

An early evening, a young lady left a bar where she was enjoying a couple drinks with friends. I will call her “Margi”.

Margi walked out of the bar laughing, appreciating live as most 25 years-old women would do. She was thinking about tomorrow. She was making plans for her future. As she walked under the moon, a few steps away from the bar, a demonic hand pulled her into the seventh circle of hell. In a split of second, she went from a normal life, to a meeting with evil, face to face. She was raped.

She screamed. She fought. She resisted her attacker knowing that her life depended on it. She continued screaming until her throat burned, scorched by her cries. But her petrifying cries were interrupted by something bigger, something darker, capable of causing harms beyond belief. She was forced to fight death to remain alive.

What is left after burning in hell?

Margi was consumed by rage. Her skin burned to the bones. She was in unimaginable pain. There was not a single cell in her body that did not hurt. She felt as if every nerve in her body was simply destroyed. She felt her world collapsing right at her side, and there was nothing that she could do to stop it. She dialed 911.

Only another person who has been forcibly raped can identify the pain, the hurt, the agony, the anguish, the torment, and the suffering that is felt after a horrifying sexual assault. The rest of us can only imagine it. Even so, what we feel and what the victims feel would never be the same. All we can do is provide them with emotional support and personal space for them to grieve. Margi called 911 because she needed help. She was bleeding. She was bruised and badly hurt, not only physically, but more so emotionally.

The guilt.

After a person have been raped, the victim is hunted by one question: Was the sexual assault my fault?

No Margi, the sexual assault was not your fault. 

I am writing this statement with clear and absolute convention that the sexual assault was not your fault. There should not be one victim on this earth who should believe that being raped or sexually assaulted is her or his fault. No one victim should feel guilty for being forcefully raped. Rape is an act of evil and we all should stand and fight against sexual assaults.

It does not matter if the rape was done by someone you know, someone closed to you, someone dear to your heart, or by a complete stranger. Being raped is never the victims fault. Rape is an unlawful, dreadful, awful action committed against you, without your consent. The most important words that you should keep in your mind are, if you did not consent to the sexual action, it was a sexual assault, and therefore, it was not your fault. It was the fault of evil.

It’s been a couple months since she was raped. The physical pain left behind after she was raped is gone. But her soul is damaged forever. Being raped is something that Margi has to learn to deal with. However, it is the guilt of being raped that is killing her. The guilt takes her to darker places where she feels she is drowning alone. Thinking that the sexual assault was her fault. Making her life a living hell.

After Margi called 911, a police officer showed up at the crime scene. While she was grateful for the much-needed physical support, Margi still battles the emotional damage caused by the first responder. The police officer who suggested that the sexual assault was her fault. That subtle underlying accusation destroyed what was left of her confidence, dignity, self-respect, and self-esteem.

Police officers responding to a sexual assault crime scene must remember that first, the victim of a sexual assault is a human being who has been deprived of her/his dignity. Second, “One of the most sacred principles in the American criminal justice system, holding that a defendant is innocent until proven guilty. In other words, the prosecution must prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, each essential element of the crime charged.” (Cornell Law School, 2017). 

A police officer responding to the cries of the victims of a sexual assault should never make the victims feel that the sexual attack was their fault. I highly recommend that any police officer who responds to the desperate call of the victim of a sexual assault to be first human and then become an investigator. Making the victims feel the sexual assault was their fault may cause deeper damage than the physical ones. Those subtle accusations can brand the victims’ soul for the rest of their lives and almost certainly interfere with the victims’ ability to recover from their traumatic experience. 

Some of the skills that the victims of sexual assault need from the police officers responding to their desperate cries for need and help are respect, compassion, understanding, calmness, discretion, dependence, perception, empathic, tolerance, humility, open-mindedness, non-impulsiveness, patient, reasoning, and strong work ethics.

I respect and appreciate the dangerous work of police officers. I understand it is a stressful job and they are constantly putting their lives on the line to prevent us from danger and harm. I thank all of you for protecting us, protecting our society, and promoting peace and security. 

At the same time, I also have the moral responsibility to remind all police officers that there is time to be human, there is time to be a hero, and there is time to be an investigator. Responding to the call of a victim of a sexual assault is the time to be human. Margi was already hurt. She did not need your accusations. At that particular moment, what she needed the most was your moral support and your protection.

Margi had unforgettable damage to her self-esteem, self-respect, morale, and trust of people. But she is still recovering. She still is a strong, beautiful special woman. Your family and friends love you unconditionally.

Iberkis Faltas, MSIA, PhD (ABD)

Sources:

Key Traits and Characteristics Sought in Police Officers. (2012). City of Bainbridge Island. Retrieved from http://www.bainbridgewa.gov/DocumentCenter/View/1834

Presumption of Innocence. (2017). Cornell Law School Legal Information Institute. Retrieved from https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/presumption_of_innocence

Statement Analysis: Google’s Ideological Echo Chamber

This statement has 247 words, 18 lines, 1385 spaced characters, and 1631 non-spaced characters. Approximately 20% of the paragraph are adjectives, 25% verbs, 46% nouns, 7% adverbs, and 49% functions words, which according to research, functions words are words that provide little lexical significance or have little ambiguity to the meaning its meaning or the sentence.

The word count showed that James’s most used word was women, writing it 12 times in one paragraph. “Women” count for a 7.59 % of the paragraph structure. This, according to research on language and words usage indicates that James might have additional personal issues with the opposite gender than those expressed in this paragraph. Additional studies are required to determine the nature and extent of those issues. See Figure 1 Word Cloud, and Table 1 Word Weight Percentage for a broader idea of the structure and word use in this paragraph. 

Additional analysis indicates that only a 15.81% of the words imply to the content of the paragraph. James used too many ‘big words’ which research shows it is a self-conscious way of expression and in many situations, it indicates that the person has social/workplace issues due to the nature of his/her behavior.

James used 53 words to explain why he perceived that women prefer their professional development in social and artistic areas, which according to the Department of Labor (2017) it is not true. His argument is debatable. See the table below. In fact, statistics show that men also favor arts as their professional fields, as much or maybe more than women. Also, line and six of the statement, the ones highlighted in pink, those are two standalone sentences. Line eight explains James’s perceived assumption and judgment. Lines nine and ten contradict themselves: “Note that these are just average differences (on what is he basing this average?), and there’s overlap between men and women (I would like more information on where what, or how men and women overlap before making an assessment) but this seen “solely as a women’s issue” (By the end of the sentence it is not an overlap anymore. Now is just a women’s issue?)

For lines 13, 14, and 15, highlighted in pink, I would suggest requesting more information to determine its validity. Lines 17 and 18, also highlighted in pink are also debatable. Academic research showed that there are no significant gender-specific differences associated with personality or emotions between men and women.

Further, emotional intelligence research also showed that there is not gender-specific difference defining the individuals’ emotional intelligence competencies, or the way that individuals manage their emotions.

According to the evaluation of this statement, James “needs to stop assuming that gender gap implies sexism” and evaluate his own perception of the overall situation. How is it affecting him? How responsible is James of his own situation? What is bothering the most? How emotionally aware is James? How satisfy is James with his choices? Is James suffering from some form of depression? Does James feel that he is not advancing enough in his professional environment? Those are questions that will help us to explore the motivations behind James’s manifesto.

Moreover, according to research, the gender gap is an existing cultural problem. However, it is less likely that the gender gap is directly associated with racism against sex or sexism which is an entirely different topic. See Figure 3 Pew Research Center for additional information on the gender gap.

Word Cloud 

Google’s Ideological Echo Chamber

 

 Data by Area and Occupation

DHS S&T Awards $645K to Northeastern University to Develop Systems for Auditing and Controlling Personal Information Leaks

WASHINGTON—The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Science and Technology Directorate (S&T) has awarded Northeastern University (NEU) $645,229 to develop a system that organizations and individuals can use to audit and control personally identifiable information (PII) leaks from connected devices. The award was made through the S&T Cyber Security Division’s (CSD) Data Privacy project. CSD is part of the Homeland Security Advanced Research Projects Agency. CSD’s Data Privacy project seeks architectures, tools, applied models and other solutions across the research-and-development (R&D) lifecycle along three primary contexts: connected devices, mobile computing and sensor platforms; large-scale and heterogeneous data and algorithms; and the delivery of digital services.


Read More: https://www.dhs.gov/science-and-technology/news/2017/08/07/news-release-dhs-st-awards-645k-northeastern-university

Statement Analysis

We can apply statement analysis to any documents. A VP of a magazine wrote the below statement. I couldn’t resist to review the statement and provide my recommendations on what should not be done in a statement letter when it will target millions of people. My suggestions are not perfect, but it is a start.

Le gustaria participar en un estudio para el cresimiento professional de la mujer?

Estoy conduciendo un estrudio academico de los factores cognitivos y no cognitivos que podrían influir en que las mujeres se sientan crónicamente menos poderosas que los hombres. Este problema es una cuestión socioeconómica relevante que afecta al desarrollo de las mujeres en las sociedades actuales. Para explorar este tema, necesito entrevistar a varias personas. La entrevista es diez minutos y se puede conducir por teléfono, correo electrónico, o cara a cara si se encuentra en un estado cercano a NJ. Por favor envíeme un mensaje si le gustaria participar en este projecto: iberkisfaltas@gmail.com