Monday, July 31, 2017
Le gustaria participar en un estudio para el cresimiento professional de la mujer?
Estoy conduciendo un estrudio academico de los factores cognitivos y no cognitivos que podrían influir en que las mujeres se sientan crónicamente menos poderosas que los hombres. Este problema es una cuestión socioeconómica relevante que afecta al desarrollo de las mujeres en las sociedades actuales. Para explorar este tema, necesito entrevistar a varias personas. La entrevista es diez minutos y se puede conducir por teléfono, correo electrónico, o cara a cara si se encuentra en un estado cercano a NJ. Por favor envíeme un mensaje si le gustaria participar en este projecto: iberkisfaltas@gmail.com
Call for participation in research study
Hello everyone,
I am conducting a research study on the cognitive and
non-cognitive factors that could influence women to feel chronically less powerful
than men. It is a relevant socioeconomic issue affecting women’s development in
current societies. To explore this issue, I need to interview multiple people. The
interview is a ten-minute interview that can be conducted via phone, email, or
face-to-face if located in a state close to NJ. Please send me a message if you
would like to participate: iberkisfaltas@gmail.com
Thank you
Friday, July 21, 2017
When Are Medical Doctors Dehumanized Becoming Automated Machines?
Medical doctors, psychologist, attorney of law, social workers, counselors, police officers, education, nurse, public and customer service, management, and leadership are some of the professional fields that need the most emotionally intelligent individuals. Each has a very challenging road that comes with each territory. Those fields deal with perceived critical issues, relevant to each particular individual. Those issues might not be important for the rest of the word, but those issues are important for them.
Some of the most important emotional intelligence skills that must be mastered by the individuals working in the fields mentioned above are self-awareness, self-management, empathy, social responsibility, impulse control, flexibility, stress tolerance, optimism, perceiving emotions, understanding emotions, and using emotions—theirs or other’s—either to facilitate thoughts, judgements, and actions, or just to understand the needs of others. Note that one of the fields that I mentioned was the medical doctor. This particular field is one where individuals should never—ever—lose their emotional intelligence skills and abilities.
So, when doctors become dehumanized and transform into automated machines?
I accompanied my son to the doctor office, and the interaction with the doctor on duty put me on the verge of a madness-schizophrenic attack. I was so aggravated that I felt the blood rushing to my face, a mental block, and my heart pumping blood faster, and faster. A good thing that I am self-aware of my emotions because when I realized that I was about to lose my composure, I decided to walk away for couple seconds, breath, and recharge on self-control.
At this point, I am just thankful that I made it out of the doctor's office without a straightjacket or worse, on handcuffs. It was one of those doctor's office visit that instead of making everything better, it seems that they are on a witch-hunt to test your patient and sanity.
It started when my son called me and told me he was having chest pain. That information, coming from one of my three boys means a real emergency. My kids don’t complain about anything and have the habit of minimizing everything. So, when my child told me that he wanted to go to the doctor because he was having chest pain, I imagined the worst.
I left work immediately. I was also texting him every minute or two while on the train. The fact that he was texting me back told me that things weren’t as bad as I thought. Also, he walked himself to the doctor, which was also an indicator that things weren’t a real emergency. Still, he had chest pain, and that was the information hijacking the amygdala in the temporal lobes of my brain. My 24-year-old child had chest pain, and I needed to know why.
Well, the doctor found a mass inside his chest. Now, imagine how an overly overprotected mother, attached to her kids like the vines to the wall felt about this “mass” in her child’s chest. I was petrified, scare, and thinking the worse. By the time I made it home, his girlfriend had taken him to get an ultrasound. Because my brain was focusing on the worst, I missed my train stop. By the time I made it home, they were done with the ultrasound, and a half-hour later, they were home. Now, it was a waiting game.
On Monday morning, I called the doctor’s office to make an appointment so we can find out about the results. The lovely lady on the phone told me that yes, the results were in but there was no appointment available until Friday. So, we had to wait until Friday—eight days later—to find out what was this “mass” on my son’s chest.
Friday, we get there early, my son, his girlfriend, and I. The doctor was not in the office, which is perfectly acceptable. A half hour later, the doctor still not in the office. One of the Medical's assistant told me that the doctor was running late—which was also fine. The most important were that the doctor was on the way.
Fifty-five minutes later, I asked if there was another doctor that could look at the results and tell me what was going on with my son. The Medical's assistant said yes, there was another doctor in the office, but she already had a patient. The medical assistant did me the favor of speaking with the other doctor, and she agreed to see my son when she finished with her current patient. Well, one hour and twenty minutes later, after she finished with her patient, she also took a well-deserved extra amount of time to talk, joke, and laugh out loud with others in the office while I waited inside one of the waiting rooms for her.
One hour forty-five minutes later, the Medical's assistant came in, asking my son where was the pain, if he still had the pain, if the pain was the same as it was last Friday, or if the pain got any better, and so on. The medical assistant seemed to be doing what I assumed was a “pre-consulting.” Mind, that was about one-hour and forty minutes after the routine blood-pressure measurement, weight, temperature, and the routine welcoming was completed. I looked at her puzzled and a little confused. I did not want to think that it was the doctor who sent her to ask all those questions. I really did not want to think about it.
Unfortunately, I was right.
Almost two hours later, after I went off on the arrogance of the doctor, their careless attitude, their insensitiveness, their mighty arrogance, and so on, the one doctor on duty finally walked in the room. Mind that I was waiting for two hours. So, the doctor walked in with computer in hands, head in the computer, no eye contact, no hello, asking the mechanicalized “how are you?” to the walls of the rooms, not waiting for an answer, and without looking at him, or me, or anyone else in the room.
She just looked at her computer. The "how are you?" might as well had been directed to the computer. Silly me thinking it meant to one of us.
After two hours of aggravating wait. After a lovely $$$$ insurance co-pay, a careless doctor, a mechanicalized automated doctor, who would not look patients in the eye, the doctor told me that my son’s ultrasound needed to be redone because he moved.
Of course, he moved!! Getting an ultrasound means to put pressure on a “mass” inside your chest. Of course, it will very likely hurt. So, moving should have been expected. I do not need a medical degree to figurate that one out. So, the whole process had to start from 0-point.
This visit was my second encounter with this medical practitioner. Any of it by choice. The first time, I had an appointment at the same private practice, my regular doctor was sick. The office staff did not tell me until I was there. Since I was already there and I was scheduled to travel out of the country the next day, and this doctor was the only one available, I took it. During this visit, the doctor did the same as with my soon. The doctor walked into the room, for the first time, with a computer in hands and the head in the computer, not looking at me.
For the whole six minutes that the consult when on, the doctor did not make eye contact once. The doctor just asked, asked, and asked routine questions, and gave me a prescription for medication. At this point, I did not trust to take the medication because I wasn't sure the doctor listened to a word I said. The doctor did not ask my name to confirm if I was the same individual in from her computer or showed any empathy about anything. It was kind of aggravating.
So, this time, my son made the appointment with this doctor because it was the only one available. I know my son is a grown man. I know I should not be involved in his doctors' appointments. I also know he can handle this situation on its own. I also know that most twenty-four years old adults are too busy with their lives, and most of the times, their priority do not include their health. I was just glad I was there to realized that some doctors do get dehumanized and become automatized machines.
At what point doctors--or any professional--become dehumanized, automatizing their behavior and responses to others?
We all go to the doctor mostly because something with our health is not functioning properly. Our health, the health of our children, and the health of our family are probably few of the most important, sensitive, and meaningful topics for many of us. We also go to the doctor for hope, assurance, and comfort that things are going to be okay.
Getting sick scare the hell out of me. When I am sick—which most of the time comes along some sentimentalism, feeling of loneliness, need for empathy, and the need of someone who understands what I am feeling, and what I am going through—what I need is someone to listen and understand what I am feeling. Of course, I also need someone to tell me what is wrong with my health and how we can make it better.
Having a professional who understands how I am feeling, someone that will look straight in the eyes, and ask me a meaningful “how are you? What’s going on?” maybe with a smile—which is not required but it means a whole world of difference, give me a great deal of comfort.
What happened with those doctors that were part of our life, a member of our family? Those doctors that took care of the whole family and us? The doctor that knew everyone by the first name and showed that we actually meant something to them? Those doctors that gave us support felt empathy and gave us a pat on the back as a gesture of praise, approval, and moral support when we needed it the most. What happened to human doctors?
Unfortunately, time is not to blame. Research showed that long before now, doctors were required to spend a specific amount of time with their patients. Just to give you an idea, in the U.S. National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health, there was an article written by Doctors Dugdale, Epstein, and Pantilat (1999) that showed that long before the 80s, the median time for a doctor’s visit was between 5 to 8 minutes in Great Britain, and 10 to 18 minutes in the United States. While relatively, the doctor to patient time has not changed much, research also showed that patient to doctor satisfaction has.
Most doctors seem to be automatized machines. They walk into a waiting room with a computer in their hands and their heads inside the computers, caring more for the time and bills, payments than the patients who are supporting their bills. Some doctors don’t care about building a relationship with their patients. Others doctors do not have time to build rapport. These days, doctors do not get pay for these types of banalities. While many doctors seem to be worshiping the demands of their insurance companies, others can careless for what their patients are feeling. What everyone seems to be forgetting is that the doctor who does not build a stable clientele would almost certainly never have a stable practice. If doctor does not care for their patients, the patients will come and go, without providing them the stability, they need to build the foundation for a stable career.
Yes, insurance companies demand doctors to see their patients in a humiliating short amount of time. I understand it. It is up to the doctor to stand for what they believe and for what they are passionate about.
I am not a doctor in the medical field. But I always had the idea that doctors were doctors because they loved what they did. Doctor loved to make people feel better. They love to safe lives. Doctors love to make a difference.
When choosing a field of study, doctors knew the demands of the profession. Doctors knew the stress and pressure that comes with the glorification of being a doctor. Then, why not doing everything you can to stay human. Caring for others is a beautiful thing, and most likely, that is why you choose this field.
As an emotional intelligence professional these are my suggestions:
Some of the most important emotional intelligence skills that must be mastered by the individuals working in the fields mentioned above are self-awareness, self-management, empathy, social responsibility, impulse control, flexibility, stress tolerance, optimism, perceiving emotions, understanding emotions, and using emotions—theirs or other’s—either to facilitate thoughts, judgements, and actions, or just to understand the needs of others. Note that one of the fields that I mentioned was the medical doctor. This particular field is one where individuals should never—ever—lose their emotional intelligence skills and abilities.
So, when doctors become dehumanized and transform into automated machines?
I accompanied my son to the doctor office, and the interaction with the doctor on duty put me on the verge of a madness-schizophrenic attack. I was so aggravated that I felt the blood rushing to my face, a mental block, and my heart pumping blood faster, and faster. A good thing that I am self-aware of my emotions because when I realized that I was about to lose my composure, I decided to walk away for couple seconds, breath, and recharge on self-control.
At this point, I am just thankful that I made it out of the doctor's office without a straightjacket or worse, on handcuffs. It was one of those doctor's office visit that instead of making everything better, it seems that they are on a witch-hunt to test your patient and sanity.
It started when my son called me and told me he was having chest pain. That information, coming from one of my three boys means a real emergency. My kids don’t complain about anything and have the habit of minimizing everything. So, when my child told me that he wanted to go to the doctor because he was having chest pain, I imagined the worst.
I left work immediately. I was also texting him every minute or two while on the train. The fact that he was texting me back told me that things weren’t as bad as I thought. Also, he walked himself to the doctor, which was also an indicator that things weren’t a real emergency. Still, he had chest pain, and that was the information hijacking the amygdala in the temporal lobes of my brain. My 24-year-old child had chest pain, and I needed to know why.
Well, the doctor found a mass inside his chest. Now, imagine how an overly overprotected mother, attached to her kids like the vines to the wall felt about this “mass” in her child’s chest. I was petrified, scare, and thinking the worse. By the time I made it home, his girlfriend had taken him to get an ultrasound. Because my brain was focusing on the worst, I missed my train stop. By the time I made it home, they were done with the ultrasound, and a half-hour later, they were home. Now, it was a waiting game.
On Monday morning, I called the doctor’s office to make an appointment so we can find out about the results. The lovely lady on the phone told me that yes, the results were in but there was no appointment available until Friday. So, we had to wait until Friday—eight days later—to find out what was this “mass” on my son’s chest.
Friday, we get there early, my son, his girlfriend, and I. The doctor was not in the office, which is perfectly acceptable. A half hour later, the doctor still not in the office. One of the Medical's assistant told me that the doctor was running late—which was also fine. The most important were that the doctor was on the way.
Fifty-five minutes later, I asked if there was another doctor that could look at the results and tell me what was going on with my son. The Medical's assistant said yes, there was another doctor in the office, but she already had a patient. The medical assistant did me the favor of speaking with the other doctor, and she agreed to see my son when she finished with her current patient. Well, one hour and twenty minutes later, after she finished with her patient, she also took a well-deserved extra amount of time to talk, joke, and laugh out loud with others in the office while I waited inside one of the waiting rooms for her.
One hour forty-five minutes later, the Medical's assistant came in, asking my son where was the pain, if he still had the pain, if the pain was the same as it was last Friday, or if the pain got any better, and so on. The medical assistant seemed to be doing what I assumed was a “pre-consulting.” Mind, that was about one-hour and forty minutes after the routine blood-pressure measurement, weight, temperature, and the routine welcoming was completed. I looked at her puzzled and a little confused. I did not want to think that it was the doctor who sent her to ask all those questions. I really did not want to think about it.
Unfortunately, I was right.
Almost two hours later, after I went off on the arrogance of the doctor, their careless attitude, their insensitiveness, their mighty arrogance, and so on, the one doctor on duty finally walked in the room. Mind that I was waiting for two hours. So, the doctor walked in with computer in hands, head in the computer, no eye contact, no hello, asking the mechanicalized “how are you?” to the walls of the rooms, not waiting for an answer, and without looking at him, or me, or anyone else in the room.
She just looked at her computer. The "how are you?" might as well had been directed to the computer. Silly me thinking it meant to one of us.
After two hours of aggravating wait. After a lovely $$$$ insurance co-pay, a careless doctor, a mechanicalized automated doctor, who would not look patients in the eye, the doctor told me that my son’s ultrasound needed to be redone because he moved.
Of course, he moved!! Getting an ultrasound means to put pressure on a “mass” inside your chest. Of course, it will very likely hurt. So, moving should have been expected. I do not need a medical degree to figurate that one out. So, the whole process had to start from 0-point.
This visit was my second encounter with this medical practitioner. Any of it by choice. The first time, I had an appointment at the same private practice, my regular doctor was sick. The office staff did not tell me until I was there. Since I was already there and I was scheduled to travel out of the country the next day, and this doctor was the only one available, I took it. During this visit, the doctor did the same as with my soon. The doctor walked into the room, for the first time, with a computer in hands and the head in the computer, not looking at me.
For the whole six minutes that the consult when on, the doctor did not make eye contact once. The doctor just asked, asked, and asked routine questions, and gave me a prescription for medication. At this point, I did not trust to take the medication because I wasn't sure the doctor listened to a word I said. The doctor did not ask my name to confirm if I was the same individual in from her computer or showed any empathy about anything. It was kind of aggravating.
So, this time, my son made the appointment with this doctor because it was the only one available. I know my son is a grown man. I know I should not be involved in his doctors' appointments. I also know he can handle this situation on its own. I also know that most twenty-four years old adults are too busy with their lives, and most of the times, their priority do not include their health. I was just glad I was there to realized that some doctors do get dehumanized and become automatized machines.
At what point doctors--or any professional--become dehumanized, automatizing their behavior and responses to others?
We all go to the doctor mostly because something with our health is not functioning properly. Our health, the health of our children, and the health of our family are probably few of the most important, sensitive, and meaningful topics for many of us. We also go to the doctor for hope, assurance, and comfort that things are going to be okay.
Getting sick scare the hell out of me. When I am sick—which most of the time comes along some sentimentalism, feeling of loneliness, need for empathy, and the need of someone who understands what I am feeling, and what I am going through—what I need is someone to listen and understand what I am feeling. Of course, I also need someone to tell me what is wrong with my health and how we can make it better.
Having a professional who understands how I am feeling, someone that will look straight in the eyes, and ask me a meaningful “how are you? What’s going on?” maybe with a smile—which is not required but it means a whole world of difference, give me a great deal of comfort.
What happened with those doctors that were part of our life, a member of our family? Those doctors that took care of the whole family and us? The doctor that knew everyone by the first name and showed that we actually meant something to them? Those doctors that gave us support felt empathy and gave us a pat on the back as a gesture of praise, approval, and moral support when we needed it the most. What happened to human doctors?
Unfortunately, time is not to blame. Research showed that long before now, doctors were required to spend a specific amount of time with their patients. Just to give you an idea, in the U.S. National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health, there was an article written by Doctors Dugdale, Epstein, and Pantilat (1999) that showed that long before the 80s, the median time for a doctor’s visit was between 5 to 8 minutes in Great Britain, and 10 to 18 minutes in the United States. While relatively, the doctor to patient time has not changed much, research also showed that patient to doctor satisfaction has.
Most doctors seem to be automatized machines. They walk into a waiting room with a computer in their hands and their heads inside the computers, caring more for the time and bills, payments than the patients who are supporting their bills. Some doctors don’t care about building a relationship with their patients. Others doctors do not have time to build rapport. These days, doctors do not get pay for these types of banalities. While many doctors seem to be worshiping the demands of their insurance companies, others can careless for what their patients are feeling. What everyone seems to be forgetting is that the doctor who does not build a stable clientele would almost certainly never have a stable practice. If doctor does not care for their patients, the patients will come and go, without providing them the stability, they need to build the foundation for a stable career.
Yes, insurance companies demand doctors to see their patients in a humiliating short amount of time. I understand it. It is up to the doctor to stand for what they believe and for what they are passionate about.
I am not a doctor in the medical field. But I always had the idea that doctors were doctors because they loved what they did. Doctor loved to make people feel better. They love to safe lives. Doctors love to make a difference.
When choosing a field of study, doctors knew the demands of the profession. Doctors knew the stress and pressure that comes with the glorification of being a doctor. Then, why not doing everything you can to stay human. Caring for others is a beautiful thing, and most likely, that is why you choose this field.
As an emotional intelligence professional these are my suggestions:
- Learning self-awareness will help you to understand your strengths and weaknesses
- Learning self-management will help you to control our moods, manage your emotions, focus on your achievements, and help you to have a positive outlook, even when you think things are in its worse
- Learning empathy is a must. Learning empathy will also teach you to recognize, understand, and appreciate how you and other people are feeling while using those emotions to drive behavior
- Learning social responsibilities will help you to re-emphasize your positive contributions to society
- Learning impulse control will help you to stop the temptations of dehumanization, avoiding impulsive, thoughtless actions
- Learning flexibility will help you to adapt to unfamiliar and unpredictable circumstances where neither you or your patient will be in full control
- Learning stress tolerance will help you to cope with the challenges of the field, while also helping to take control of overpowering stressful situations
- Learn optimism. Doctors must be optimistic. Seeking positive assurance is one of the reasons we go to you. We need optimism, positivism, and hope when we are sick. Being optimistic will help you and your patient to be hopeful and resilient, regardless of what the future is holding for your or your patients
- Learn to be perceptive, but also learn how to see things from the perception of your patient.
- Do not lose your EMPATHY. All doctors must recognize, understand, appreciate, and be able to communicate with others, regardless of the challenging circumstances. Show that you care for your patients. Show that you will do anything you can for your patient’s life and use all that emotional information around you to facilitate your thoughts, judgments, and actions. But the most important, everything you do, MEAN IT. Do not respond to your environment like you are a machine. Please do not forget why you became a wonderful doctor. Also, remember that we would be lost without you.
Iberkis Faltas, MS, PMP, PhD (ABD)
Public Policy & Administration
Management & Leadership | Law & Policy
Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach
Adjunct Faculty - Speaker
Saturday, July 1, 2017
"Las mujeres se sienten cronicamente mas subestimadas que los hombres"? Completa esta encuesta con solo una pregunta y has tu contribución a los cambios sociales. "¡Sus comentarios son importantes! https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/LFT2M8Z
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Perception in Public Administration
Emotional intelligence has been one of the faster-growing conceptualizations in social science since the 1990s. Research shows that the ...
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"Las mujeres se sienten cronicamente mas subestimadas que los hombres"? Completa esta encuesta con solo una pregunta y has tu co...
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Emotional intelligence has been one of the faster-growing conceptualizations in social science since the 1990s. Research shows that the ... -
My Friend Was Raped: Now What? This is a true story. It did not happen to me, but it happened to a dear friend. I am sharing her ...